Sadness and recovery

Recently, Christi and I experienced a very sad loss. At approximately 8 weeks gestational age, it was confirmed what would have been our 17th child, had ceased to grow, and the placental sac appeared empty. We had held out some hope, because the initial blood tests showed Christi's HCG to be sufficient, but her progesterone was low, and to further muddy the waters, the ultrasound she had done was an external. At this early stage, an external can be virtually blind. Her Dr. prescribed progesterone supplements and had her take things easy, which she tried very hard to do, but if you know her, you know that easy for her is what most of us call busy. Notwithstanding, her spotting eventually began to be bright red and we went to the ER where the bloodwork showed a decrease in the HCG and a vaginal U/S also showed an empty sac. It was a very sad time for us, and it hit me much harder than I would have thought. Christi says she had a feeling that something might not have been right and the low progesterone may have helped ease her emotions just a bit. Still it was very hard. Some don't realize that for folks like us, even a relatively early loss like this is still the loss of a child.
Her doctor offered a D & C procedure to ease the process and due to a risk of hemmorage, but she really preferred to allow for a natural passing of the tissue. In the next 24 hours however, she began to have very severe cramps and pass large amounts of bright red blood and tissue. Remembering the doctors concern about bleeding, we chose to go ahead with the procedure.
Everything went very well, and one small plus was that he didn't have to dilate her as she was already in the process of miscarriage. She is healing very well physically and although she has put up a very brave face, she has felt the loss deeply. I saw it in her eyes when I took the kids to run errands, which I do from time to time to give her a quiet house, and she ran after me and made me leave Nathaniel to be with her. She immediately took him to the couch and cuddled him close. Yes, she grieves the loss of the baby that could have been, but she is healing and looking forward to trying again. Dr. Byrne has been really great and says that all should be well whenever her cycles kick back in.

I for one, can't wait to start practicing...;)

One little envelope, holds the answer.

Those of you who saw our TLC show, kids by the dozen, may remember that we had our ultrasound technician, Susan, put the results of the baby's sex in an envelope, which we then opened at our Anniversary party. This time, Christi did the same thing, only without a specific time set to open it and reveal what we're having. We just wanted to have the option.
Lately though, the temptation has been clawing at Christi something fierce. Her moods and cravings have been mixed, which has driven her crazy. Usually she has a pretty good idea based on those symptoms, but this time, she simply has no idea. The fun part for me is, I have hidden the envelope and she keeps asking if we should just go ahead and open it. I offer to give it to her, but she's not quite ready to reveal the secret. She asks me about twice a day now, and everytime she changes her mind. I'm kind of enjoying holding the cards on this one, but sooner or later, the temptation will be too great and she'll beg me for it.

Till then, I'm gonna enjoy watching her squirm a bit.

Ultrasound update.

The ultrasound went well, the baby was in a really lousy position so it was difficult to get a good picture. The U/S dated the baby at 23w 5 days and approximately 1lb 5oz. The actual age is 22w 1day. We had the tech put a photo of the sex in an envelope, like we did for the TV show, and as yet we haven't peeked. We have been sorely tempted though. I wasn't able to be there, but it was a huge relief for Christi to be able to see a healthy baby. She had been worried, what with her age and the simple odds of having 16 healthy babies, she had been imagining all sorts of problems. But all is well, the heartbeat was a healthy 146 and all is looking good. Check out the below pics:


And, as always, our ultrasound tech, Susan, told Christi, "see you next year!"

She probably will...